2 - SLN

Ahhh, day 2. I felt like yesterday I would've been more emotional thinking about my birth mom to in the morning but in reality I actually felt quite good. Yesterday was a full moon and absolutely stunning. Anyways, back to what's important.

Mom... a word that seems so normal, but for me, it's  word that has come with much confusion and growth. My mom is one of the most amazing human beings I've ever met. I know most children say this of their moms, but I truly mean it and plan to tell you all about her!

It wasn't until just recently that I realized, before I was born, I chose my mom and dad to be my parents. But there was a problem, in this life my mom had chosen to live a life with an autoimmune disease which would make it impossible for her to carry a child. So, we found a surrogate (my birth mom). I chose my mom because she was able to give me the exact life I knew I needed this time around. It's crazy because we all sacrificed just so that I could live this life with her... she as my mother and me as her child. I am not certain if I've ever been her mother in past lives. I would say we've absolutely been sisters.

Anyways, back to my mom. She was born on April Fools day... 3 months premature weighing only 3 lbs. She fit in the palm of my grandmas hand. It's a miracle she survived but knowing my mom and seeing the perseverance that embodies her entire soul, it's not a shock to me. Being that in-utero, our eyes are the last to develop, she was born blind in her left eye. Because she was born in the 50's in small town with a population of maybe 100 people, she was put in a baking oven to keep her warm as opposed to an incubator. Through all odds, she survived.

In the early 60s my mom fell incredibly ill and was diagnosed with systemic Lupus. She spent close to 6 months in the hospital under the care of Dr. Franklin (my dad actually used to do rounds with Dr. Franklin and met my mom when they were teens but then again met in college). She had a couple of near death experiences and again, with perseverance, survived. Upon being released from the hospital, she was put on a cocktail of steroids. Which made her retain water and gain weight. My poor mom, being a mere teen, went from weighing around 70lbs to 300lbs, bald (due to medications) and no longer able to walk... she was limited to a wheel chair. The teenage years are hard enough, can you imagine going through all of that coupled with being a teen? What strength.

When my mom was sick, my grandma was busy raising 6 children as well as loosing her daughter shortly after birth. My grandpa, was also sick... but self induced. He was an alcoholic. He was cruel to my mom. But thankfully, my mom had her sister, Debbie to take care of her while grandma was busy. I will forever be thankful for her love to be able to be so young and care for my mom.

S was able to graduate on time, despite missing much school and being sick... talk about smart, and went on to attend college. It was here she met my dad, again, and they dated on and off. My mom was a hard one to lock down! She graduated college, took a job with Cenex, and has been there ever since... she is now the CFO. Talk about dedication, loyalty, and focus. I can hardly stay anywhere for a week let alone 40 or something years.

Being that my mom was unable to have children, they struggled to find their baby. Along the way, my parent's adopted a little girl (I'm unsure of her name)... she lived with my parents and was taken away from them shortly after when the adoption agency found out my dad wasn't catholic. This destroyed my mom. Imagine trying and waiting your entire life to be a mom, only to have it taken away from you. Another hard hit to my mom's heart.

Sometime later, they received a call about a little baby whom they knew nothing about who was available for adoption. They didn't know if this baby was healthy but my parents, on blind faith, accepted me. 6 months later I would be reunited with my mom.

She has gone through so much in her life... and always puts others before herself. I have watched her care for friends, family and even my ex-boyfriends as if they are her own. She is the truest definition of a mom, regardless of the fact she's never carried life in her womb. I've come to learn, just because you carry life in your womb it doesn't mean you are a mother... it also doesn't mean your child is, on a soul level, yours.

My mom is a woman every young girl should look up to... She's been breaking barriers before they were even discussed. She was the bread winner of our family. She had just as many male friends as she did male friends. She took appropriate amount of time for herself when she needed it. She was a female entrepreneur (working full-time and also running a successful business). She is crazy loyal to her husband... she always, and I mean always, sees the world through rose colored glasses. She is my, warrior. My mom and most importantly, the gem of my life.

It may have been a bumpy road to find each other, but we did.